THE BEST GIFTS ARE FREE

John 15:13 KJV
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Dearest Sisters,

HAPPY SUNDAY!!! Cheers to the beginning of a wonderful, winning week!!!! Glory Hallelujah! I pray that we all are looking forward to a promising and productive week. I hope that excitement is mounting. Awesome, amazing things are slated to occur this week! Yay! Hooray! Keep your eyes attuned to the miracles of God; there is no shortage of blessings and miracles with our Lord! God is for us. God is for YOU! Go forth and win! We have victory in Jesus!!! Cheers to you and yours!!

As we prepare for Valentine's Day, I am mindful that some of the BEST gifts are free. Chocolates, stuffed animals, and flowers are great but so are FREE gifts that are given freely from our hearts. FREE beats a bargain any day. We do not have to wait for discount days for GREAT savings; FREE gifts are available everyday.

Love and affection are free. And, fortunately our children crave our loving, affectionate attention. They seek our approval, affirmation and validation. All of these gifts are free but we must be intentional in giving them. Let me qualify 'FREE' by assuring you that these gifts will cause you to make countless selfless sacrifices but they won't require any money. The incredible gifts that are at our disposal to offer to our kiddos are a reflection of God's incredible gift of salvation. Salvation didn't cost God any money but the sacrificial offering of His son was the 'price' that He had to pay. So, FREE gifts cost us ourselves, but not money. There are few things more rewarding and demonstrative of love than self-sacrifice. Heap the FREE gifts upon your kiddos. Give yourself; the rewards are greater when you give yourself rather than just give of yourself. Try to be a gift rather than just give a gift. YOU are an incredible gift. YOU are an ever-giving gift. YOU were blessed with children to gift them with yourself.

I recall a story of a chicken and a pig discussing who had the BEST gift to offer at a farm breakfast party. They went back and forth squawking and oinking about their reflections. This same conversation was also underway amongst the farmer and his children. As they gathered around a hearty meal, they prepared to pray. The golden silence was interrupted by the hen still squawking about. She was yet trying to defend her case by perhaps gaining the attention and hopeful favor of the farmer and his family. The family dismissed the hen's protests and resumed breakfast. The sweet Mrs. happily served her family. And, all at once the hen started squawking again. She seemed disgruntled. The farmer's son interjected, "I think pig's gift was BEST. Hen only gave of herself in sharing her eggs. And yet, she is still unsettled. But, pig died in order for us to have bacon."

Let's choose today to offer our kiddos sacrificial gifts. The BEST gifts should cost us a personal sacrifice. We are already off to a GREAT start. As survivors and single moms, we have committed to raising and rearing our kids even after our husbands deserted the post. Our job is tough but we continue on day after day. Sometimes we don't think we can last through the day let alone the week but we persevere. We could have given up and sent the kids to live with Grandma. But, we remain faithful and true to our callings. Thus, we are wayyyyy ahead of the game with regard to sacrificial giving. Yay! Hooray! However, God wants us to go further, do more, and achieve greater plateaus. It's only in the Lord's strength that we can muster up strength, courage, and fortitude to love like Him. Love on Ladies! It's a true wonder and beauty to behold survivors that love their kiddos like they've never known hurt. It's a true testament to God's redemptive power to encounter mothers that teach their kiddos to love even when they are the constant target of unlovely ways from ex-husbands, ex-in laws, and ex-friends. Love fails NOT. Love on!

Ungodly parents intentionally withhold their love and consequentially, their kids wither away right before their eyes. We, however, can allow the busyness or stressors of life to zap our energy and distort our focus. Though we are godly mothers, carelessness with our children can sadly leave us with the same results as ungodly parents. Lord, please have mercy on us! Give us wisdom, guidance, and strength for the journey, oh God!

As divorcees and single parents, we are very familiar with fatigue, weariness, and tiredness. Our plates are full as we juggle the day to day responsibilities that were designed for two parents. However, we must use our present circumstances to our advantage. Whatever we have the strength to do often, we must strive to include in our kiddos (in that activity). Whatever tasks we engage in order to boast our resilience should include our kiddos. Certainly, "me time" is necessary to recharge, but we need to embrace our kiddos as we submit to healing and change. We must grow together.  Through shared experiences, both the good and the bad, we can cultivate and nurture love and strong kinship bonds with our children.

Let's not allow the flames of love to smolder into embers. Sometimes, we can feel the uneasiness in our hearts and homes as we all gradually drift away due to busy involvement in various hobbies, activities and work. Sometimes the drift occurs as each family member struggles to cope with loss, change, and challenges. Regardless of the reason for drift, pray and ask God for help. Drift requires immediate intervention. If there shall be any drifting, let it be none other than a family drifting together and not apart. We must draw together in unity, strength AND LOVE.

If a couple of family members prefer to view TV to cope with divorce and its aftermath, strive to watch TV together. If reading is the choice activity, then read together. If cooking, then cook. If running, then run. If sleeping, then sleep together. If playing, then play. In fact, I encourage all moms of young kiddos to carve out substantial time to play with your kiddos. Children are able to incredibly process their feelings and emotions through play. For kiddos, play is so much more than a recreational activity. Play is a tool for their brain development and their emotional and mental health maintenance. Play helps children attain an equilibrium post-trauma. We are wise to engage our kiddos in playtime. Overall, relationships need to be fed to grow and thrive. Love and connectedness grows healthy, happy, and holy relationships.

Giving of ourselves far outweighs any toy or trinket that we can give our children. We may not live up to all of our motherhood ideals and aspirations but God has uniquely equipped us to possess the core skills, traits, and talents that are needed to raise our kiddos. Our children are our flesh and blood. Genetics is an advantage we have in rearing in our darlings. Our shared faith is another HUGE plus. And, gratefully we have the Lord's brilliant ,intelligent design that perfectly matches our supply with our kids' needs. Let's strive to give ourselves to our children. We have very limited time with our children living at home. So, let's rise to the occasion to prepare them to live well.

Let's purposefully adore and admire our children. Let's give them the attention and affection they crave so they are not lured to forbidden places, people and things to fulfill these natural longings. We can gift our children with "soul gifts" that feed their hearts and minds; these gifts will benefit them a lifetime.

"Soul gifts" are so critical; single parents cannot afford NOT to give them. We have to constantly play both offense and defense; and often times without back up. In ongoing spiritual warfare, we must both attack the devil and protect our children from counterattacks. "Soul gifts" provide a spiritual bulwark. Our continual investment in our kiddos' spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical development can minimize the effects of divorce.

It's so important that we remind our children that they are beautiful or handsome; that they are special and irreplaceable. We must shower them with statements like, "I'm proud of you," or "you're so amazing." How about a simple, "I love you," EVERYDAY. There is no such thing as loving a child too much. It is VERY wise to fill our children with love. The quest is daily; leftovers don't apply to love.

Rules and regulations are also very important as are appropriate consequences like reward and punishment. Divorce wrecks havoc on the order and stability in a house. Divorce is much like a tornado; it can destroy everything in its path. But, as divorced, single mothers we are very influential in damage control. We can still be homemakers! In the aftermath of divorce, we can be GREAT homemakers! Even after our exs are long gone and remarried, we can make wonderful homes for our kiddos.

A necessary ingredient in homemaking and family rebuilding is setting boundaries and establishing rules. Children, and humans in general, fare much better in environments in which they know what is expected of them. Children thrive when they have doting mothers that help them adhere to those expectations and even award or punish their behavior. Cheers to you Sisters! You set the atmosphere of your home. You have full reign to raise your kiddos in a happy, healthy, holy haven. God is available 24/7 to help you. It doesn't take a super mom to engage in Christian homemaking. God only requires a normal, imperfect mom that is willing to let her perfect, powerful Lord work through her. The results are incredible.

A lasting gift to our kids is prayer. Let's constantly cover them in prayer as an expression of our deepest love. Our kiddos must be confident in their identity as God's children and our children. Sharing our love and God's love with them DAILY is magnificent and invaluable. Loving our children is mentally, spiritually and emotionally consuming but it's free and absolutely worth the sacrifice.

As many of our children are coming of age, it's imperative that we teach them how to study the Bible independently. It's also important that we allow our children to witness us studying and reading our bibles. Surely, the church has a role in shepherding our children. But, the work of youth pastors and children's church leaders does not lessen our responsibility to teach our children the fear of the Lord. Our discipleship work is primary and the church's work is supplemental. Family and independent bible studies will bless our children FOREVER.

The FREE gifts that we can give our children are many. Have fun gifting your kiddos with "soul gifts;" rest assure you won't break the bank. Smile! Go forth and win!

Love and blessings

Hugs