THE TRUTH SETS US FREE

John 8:3KJV

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Dearest Ladies,

HAPPY TUESDAY!!!

God is good! Praise the Lord for another beautiful day! We are so blessed to be alive.

The other day I was speaking with my aunt. Not too far into our conversation, she began repeating family lies and legends that served to further preserve and protect dark, disastrous, deadly, damaging family secrets.

I was so shocked to hear my elder aunt candidly and frankly disseminate lies. The lies rolled off her tongue with such rapid speed. It was difficult to tell if her thoughts were premeditated or just a toxic, subliminal ooze from a deep, dark subconscious place. Obviously, her heart held a bastion of secrets but she dared not let the light of God's truth and wisdom invade those dark, dank cardiac chambers. She lived balled and chained in her own dismal heart, mind, and world.

Southern respectability, pseudo-Christian respectability, and feminine respectability all collided to enslave my dear aunt to a very wretched past. There was a desperation in her. She wanted to embrace truth but lies were so much more convenient. She recalled the hurtful events of the past like they occurred moments ago. She is a shell of a woman; unable to process, understand, and safely retire the past. With every lie that she breathed life into, her self-imprisonment posed a tighter strangle on her life. My heart ached for her. Our bodies can only tolerate so much untruth and pain. Once a person reaches their threshold, the harboring of painful secrets and untruth begins to take a toll on one's health.

Sisters, acceptance of all of our stages and phases of life is very important. Dr. Kubler-Ross indicated in her research that acceptance is the final stage in the death and dying grief process. In order to completely resolve our grief birthed from divorce, we must come to an acceptance of our new normal.

Acceptance is experienced by focusing less and less on our loss and our painful past. An indication of our acceptance of loss is evidenced by our ability to recollect without experiencing profound post-traumatic stress. A healthy indicator of acceptance is demonstrated in our preoccupation with the present and future more so than our pasts.

One of the most important elements of acceptance is working through our painful experiences. It is not healthy or wise to lie to ourselves nor others in an attempt to circumvent the healing process. From time to time, humans struggle to a degree with the temptation to embellish their images or stories. We often fancy others with our embellished stories in order to assuage our egos; there is safe ground to do so. In fact, in the face of trauma, we create and re-create stories that help us make meaning of our pain and resulting experiences.

Telling stories and creating our personal narratives is very important in our quests to survive and thrive. Making-meaning of our pain and suffering is necessary for boosting and bolstering our own resilience. Have you ever attended a testimony service? It is so empowering and uplifting to hear fellow Christian brethren recall their trials, tribulations AND, most importantly their God-authored triumphs. Storytelling is important to ground our identities and experiences.

 It's so essential that we get dirty and dig deep in our hearts and minds for the truthful elements that comprise our stories. The pharmacon is in our pain. It's very important for us to involve God on the journeys that plummets us to the depths of our soul. Only in knowing ourselves can we rightfully understand where we have been and where we are going.

Sometimes we are the victims of others' lies and malicious accusations. It's quite common for divorcees to be the subject of lies and the target of false accusations as our ex-spouses develop propaganda to defend their decisions and to persevere their esteem and integrity in the eyes of their family and fans. If you have experiences of the suffocating attack of treacherous slander, then call out to God. ONLY God can cause others to see the truth about you. Someone once said, "when toxic people can no longer control you then they will try to negatively influence how others see you." Though the attacks are painful and senseless, stay focused and stay prayerful. Trust God to open the eyes and hearts of your attackers and their audience. May God bring them from darkness to the light of truth.

As we are moving through the messy, painful, difficult work of introspection, we should refrain from 'running from our ourselves' or barring ourselves entry from certain areas of our hearts and minds. Some people cannot explore themselves alone; tough cases often require professional mental health help or pastoral care. If anyone finds themselves creating and perpetuating lies to defend 'self' or to make 'self' look better in the eyes of others, then a major problem is at hand. Seeking professional help is highly recommended.

Ladies, we cannot lie to ourselves and escape carefree. And, we cannot lie to others without consequence. At the end of the day, others quickly discover truth about us. To spread and perpetuate lies when others have disarming knowledge of our past is dangerous and disastrous. We want to shy away from dysfunction and use the storm of divorce to plot healthy, wholesome steps forward.

The everyday narcissist is defined by extreme self-absorption, arrogance, and grandiosity; none of those traits are admirable or conducive to good health and healing. While it's so tempting to make ourselves feel better by trying to look better and to convince others that we are better, let's take a close look at ourselves. Let's examine the broken areas of our lives and seek remedy for our brokenness. The Lord God has a remedy for every wound and affliction that pains us.

Sisters, it's so painful and counterproductive to hide behind superficiality. So many generations of Americans have experienced myriad traumas. But, due to the social milieu of their generations, they were not free to openly and honestly discuss their pain so they buried it deep within. I think our social climate allows more freedom to air dirty laundry; just take caution to entrust your cares and concerns with wise and gentle folks. We need faithful family members and friends. Loyal friends are often unbiased and can prove very helpful to those on the road to the healing. Choose your friends wisely and they will go the distance with you.

Research is bearing out the fact that trauma can alter our DNA in such ways that post-traumatic behavior can be genetically passed along. If behavioral research stands the test of time and if it's further corroborated by more data, then we have a lot to lose by affecting the next generation with exposure genetically or environmentally to maladaptive behaviors. Let's choose to live and love well. Our kiddos are depending on us to get well for our collective well-being.

Lies and cosmetic smiles can mask our pain for years; these masks will never be removed unless we consciously make the effort to expose ourselves. Exposure makes us vulnerable but so does the decision to love again after being hurt. We cannot vow to stop loving because someone stopped loving us as in the case of divorce. Likewise, we cannot keep our hurts and hang ups covered if we ever seek to find true peace and healing.

Sadly, masks can create a deep chasm that separates us from reality, denies us of complete healing and restoration, and ultimately, retards our growth and development. Divorce is too painful and tormenting of an experience to stay imprisoned in its shadows. Dearest Sisters, allow the love and light of God to touch and heal your wounds. Be courageous! Be bold! Fight forward! You have the courage to live victoriously after the storm. Seek the Lord!

Love and blessings

Hugs

MY RINGS: FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE

A symbol of love
A circle has no end
Hard to believe you pledged to be my friend

Til death do us part
Through good and bad
I never thought I would lose what we had

These bands....
These rings....
I cherished the hope they did bring

Now, I can't eat
I can't even sleep
The pain and sorrow has too much sting

Oh God, do you see my tears
Can you hear my cry
Be near me, be close, don't let me die

Heartbreak
Heartache
I'm not so sure how much more I can take

Oh God, do you see my tears
Can you hear my cry
Be near me, be close, don't let me die

These bands....
These rings...
I will use them to lasso new dreams

Talking to Storms

Mark 4:39 KJV
And [Jesus] arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

.....Sisters, when storms hit, talk to the one that can talk to storms.


Dearest Ladies,

HAPPY MONDAY!!! I hope you and yours are well! Remember, God is using everything in your life for good!!! God is doing a special, unique, different-kind-of miracle for you. God hears all of your prayers. God will answer your prayers. But, perhaps He is up to something that is different from your prayers. The Lord knows your needs; never doubt His faithful provision. Just live outside the box. Stay open and receptive to the Lord's leading and His miraculous, creative, majestic way of supplying your needs.

Often we pray based on the parade view of life that we have but fortunately God sees all. He answers our prayers based on the Heavenly view that He has of our lives and everything else. Let's trust God and His process!

Ladies, someone once said that your faith and will is tested when everything happens all at once and also when it seems that nothing happens at all. If you're in a season of bustling activity and lots of change or one of relative dormancy, don't despair! God is using all things in your life for good---for His good and for your good. Trust God! Trust His process!

Sisters, when storms hit, it's so easy and tempting to disengage from the adventure called life. Please don't disengage. Live on! Fight forward! Calm seas never made great sailors. Sad but true, storms challenge us then improve us.

I implore us all to cling closely to the ONLY wise, loving, and compassionate Lord that can walk on water and speak to storms. We REALLY need God when storms hit and rightfully so. We are blessed to serve a God that commands obedience from storms, winds, and raging seas. Similarly, trials, circumstances, and tribulations are subject to our Lord's power, rule, and reign. Trust the Lord! Trust His processes!

God doesn't cause the storms that we face but He can certainly use storms and their outcome for our good. The Lord can use storms to strengthen, encourage, inspire, and even direct us. In the case of Jonah, God allowed a storm to keep Jonah from going to a place where he shouldn't have gone. Like a GPS, the storm helped to re-calculate Jonah's journey and ultimately, his destination. Jonah eventually arrived at God's intended place for Him.

Ladies, I remind us again that our perception is based on a parade view/ vantage point. Be careful and gentle with yourself because you can't see all and you don't know all. BUT, praise the Lord, God sees all and knows all. Many times we don't understand the paths that our lives take because of our limited understanding and minuscule view point. So, it's very important that we surrender and submit to God. He has the knowledge and power to navigate us through every storm.

During storms, literally and metaphorically speaking, visibility can be really bad. If outdoors, we cannot see more than a yard or so away. Sometimes our perception from a window is even more so blurred because of heavy rain that beats against the glass and thus obscures our view. It becomes harder to make decisions, mid-storm, because of our lack of vision and insight. So, often we have to rely on television or radio updates from experts that can observe and chart storms with the assistance of satellites and other technology. Because of the experts' view of storms, they can recommend safety precautions to take, including the need to evacuate or not. Essentially, a correct view of a storm is half the battle in knowing how to engage it. Typically, we cannot see our personal storms in their entirety and we also erroneously use mental, emotional, religious, and intellectual filters in an attempt to understand our storms. With wrong vision, we can minimize our effectiveness in weathering a storm. We must rely on God.

Dearest Ladies, God sits upon the circle of the earth. He can clearly see the storms of life that blow in and out of our paths. The Lord can see the end of the storm from the beginning; and all of the nuances in between. Post-divorce we will encounter many storms: financial, emotional, mental, and spiritual etc. We will have to fight through and endure several storms before we get to a new normal. Therefore, it is so wise and daring of us to trust God to speak to and silence our storms or to walk us through the storms. When we walk with God through a storm, we can delight in walking on top of the storm. When we walk on top of the storm, we are protected from dying in the storm. God shields us so we don't drown or despair.

After the Hebrew boys were subjected to a fiery furnace, they smelled of smoke but were not burned. Likewise, storms wet and wrinkle our skin, but they don't kill us. We benefit from God's supernatural buoyancy. Our survivorship and resilience, during and after a storm, is authored by the One who can talk to storms. No matter what type or size of storm that you are facing today, take courage! Lean on God! Trust Him! And, the Lord will victoriously see you through.

Love and blessings

Hugs


Isaiah 40:22 KJV
It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in:

STRETCH MARKS

Galatians 6:17 KJV
From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.

Dearest Ladies,

HAPPY FRIDAY!!! Yay!!! Hooray!!!

Fight forward!!!

The BEST is yet to come!!!

I imagine that most of us bear stretch marks from pregnancy. If you recall, our bodies underwent enormous change in order to sustain the life and growth of our babies. Our minds, and bodies, were stretched to accommodate the greatness that blossomed in our wombs.

No two pregnancies are alike and neither are stretch marks. Each pregnancy and stretch mark is a beautiful symbol of God's goodness, grace, and mercy. Have you ever traced one of your stretch marks with your finger and marveled at the goodness of our incredible, miraculous God that orchestrated an incredible, miraculous process in our wombs. It's a surreal notion. Our stretch marks are a testament to our tenacity, courage, strength, and resilience; they represent a constellation of experiences and memories that have beautifully and wonderfully shaped our identities and lives.

Even in instances wherein a darling baby did not survive the journey from womb to earthside, God is good! In the case of babies that never journeyed home with us, stretch marks take on a new and different meaning of survivorship. But, God does indeed use all of our experiences to make us better people. Suffering is rarely, ever welcomed but it refines us like nothing else. Simply put, survivorship equates to a very unique, multi-faceted identity, experience, and undertaking.

Long after labor and delivery, our stretch marks can remind us of our journeys to motherhood or temporal loss. Nevertheless, stretch marks can remind us that we are victors, champions, warriors, overcomers, survivors, winners and conquerors etc. Stretch marks are symbolically prophetic in that they foretell of our ability to fight and win future battles. Stretch marks corroborate our tales of tenacity, perseverance, and above all, resilience.

Marks are important identifiers. Every scar that we bear is linked to a certain time, season, and stage in our lives. The marks, but more so the memories they invoke, keep us grounded in our identities as individuals and mothers. Our stretch marks herald our history, but let's remember the marks of Christ as we press toward our future....as we strive to parent for His glory. The marks of Christ anchor our purpose and calling for today and tomorrow.

The apostle Paul admonished the early church to refrain from glorifying in the mark of circumcision. He was careful to inform early believers that God is most concerned with the circumcision of their hearts. Hence, obedience is better than sacrifice.

Under the old covenant, physical circumcision was necessary to identity Abraham's children and followers of God. But, when Christ was crucified, He took on the most important marks of the new covenant. Christ's marks are the sole, lasting, important, incredible marks of our faith.

Christ's pierced brow, side, hands, and feet are the last required physical marks of Christianity. Because of Christ's sacrificial death, believers are identified by bearing the marks of Christ rather than bearing the mark of physical circumcision. Through obedience to God's will and way, we bear the marks of Christ. By worshipping God in spirit and truth, we partake in Christ's suffering and bear His marks.

Ladies, let's draw our strength today from the marks we bear. Our stretch marks speak of our resilience. Yet, the marks of Christ speak of our glorious present and future. We bear these marks until God welcomes us home. When you consider your earthly sufferings, remember they are temporal. Please remind yourself that you look a whole lot better in eternity. Have a great afternoon! Have a wonderful weekend!

Love and blessings

Hugs

STRENGTHEN YOUR RESOLVE

Ephesians 6:10 KJV
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

Dearest Mamas:

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Cheers to God! Cheers to you! Cheers to today! Cheers to all that the Lord will accomplish for you and yours today! Yay! Hooray!

BE ENCOURAGED!!! The Lord our God is valiantly fighting on your behalf! Go, fight, win!

The media is full of propaganda and some reasonable awareness about harmful products and activities that we should avoid. Sometimes the information is baffling and overwhelming because of its sheer volume. Other times, the contradictions are wearying.

We are told to exercise, eat healthy, avoid aspartame, get regular doctor's check ups, minimize our caffeine intake, eat less sugar and carbs, take supplements and vitamins, and use fluoride-free toothpaste. The list goes on and on. Our socio-cultural 'should nots' and 'do nots' are perpetually endless.

Consider the following examples. One year we're told to place sleeping babies on their chests. The following year we are told to allow them to sleep on their backs. Another year we're told to consume soy, soy milk, and soy products. And, the following year, we are told that soy is dangerous and overconsumption is a health risk. In any given year, the FDA approves food and drugs that are later taken off the market and banned. The information yo-yo can be frustrating.

Nevertheless, allow me to share one practice that is always harmful to us and our kiddos. Making comparisons is always a dreadful habit. The consequences can be destructive and down right crippling. You can be absolutely certain that comparing your kiddos to someone else's kiddos or even comparing one of your kiddos to another one is always bad. Moreover, comparing ourselves to others is always very counterproductive and harmful.

Sweet mamas, we are radical Christian, survivors of divorce and single parents. We are counterculture in every way. We do not fit into the proverbial box. We are different!

We thoroughly enjoy and fiercely defend our Christian liberties. We chose to be different when we started this journey. If you didn't choose to be different initially, I am sure that difference quickly surfaced and chose you. Then, perhaps you eventually discovered your unique difference. Embrace it!!!!

I was shocked to discover a whole line of Hallmark cards that celebrate divorce and divorcees. The party planning and catering industry has also tapped into the market of divorce celebrations. It's quite sobering and sad to witness our society haphazardly handle the sensitivities and nuances of divorcement. Divorce is taken very lightly in our culture. Pop culture doesn't esteem marriage therefore divorce is a huge joke. But, we all process our divorce through a Christian, biblical worldview so we know that divorce is a grave matter and regardless of the factors that led to divorce, it is hardly an occasion for celebration. The Holy Spirit's indwelling causes us to be very different both internally and externally. We are the salt and light of the world. Divorce doesn't change that. Of course, pain and trauma can threaten to dim our lights and mask our flavor, but we are still VERY, VERY different.

Because we are different, particularly by choice but more so by being obedient to God, it can be soooooo harmful to make comparisons to others. We are different! We are different! We are different. We have embarked on a different journey from much of society therefore their standards and judgements do not apply. In order to protect our determination, our focus, and our goals, we must disregard standards that do not apply to us. God's word is our foundation. Let's drink deeply of it to strengthen our resolve.

When possible, it's ideal to join together with other sisters in Christ in order to encourage, inspire, and support one another. Our journeys are similar and yet they are different but we can encourage one another. We all arrived at salvation, marriage, motherhood, and unfortunately, divorcement and single parenthood at different times and in different places. Our history and our stories are uniquely different thus God is performing different miracles in our lives. That's not to say that any of us are exempt from healing, renewal, and restoration. Let's just say that healing and wholeness can slightly vary from lady to lady because of our differences. But, different miracles are wonderful because we are unique and God's understands our unique differences.

Fortunately, we are able to help strengthen one another and strengthen our resolve by encouraging one another on our journeys. Instead of desiring to have something that someone else has or far worse, sulking and moaning about what someone else has, we should support one another. And, patiently wait on God for our breakthrough, blessing, or miracle.

When others share their testimonies in church or elsewhere, we should feel inspired and encouraged. Testimonies are powerful faith boosters. Testimonies are not meant to aggravate and irritate. The purpose of testimonies is to highlight God's goodness, faithfulness, grace, and mercy. The testimony is supposed to magnify, uplift, and glorify God, not the individual person nor what they received.

Surely, we can believe God for a miracle that is similar to the one  that someone else received but, we cannot effectively pray for nor expect the same exact miracle because 'we' are not that person. There are no two exact snowflakes, miracles, nor people. God designed our differences. He delights in our differences. He is doing something different in each of our lives.

Some divorced, single mamas (DSM) are blessed to remarry within a few years of their divorce, others are blessed to remarry when their children are young adults. Some DSMs do not remarry but rather commit their lives to serving God and their families in their singleness. Some ladies return 'home' with their kiddos and care for aging parents. Others launch ministries that are devoted to helping single parents. God is doing something uniquely different in each of our lives.

Testimonies are helpful to encourage us as we continue on our Christian walk. But, when we flirt with the bad habit of making comparisons between ourselves and others then discontentment, covetousness and envy can set in. Guard your hearts Sisters. I promise that God is performing a uniquely different miracle in your life!!! It is better than anything that you can imagine. Waiting is hard but one day you will understand that the wait was necessary for the worthwhile blessing.

Avoid making comparisons; they only make us depressed and frustrated. TRUST GOD!!!! TRUST GOD!!!!! TRUST GOD!!!! It's nice to lay hold of goals, aspirations, dreams, and desires but leave ENORMOUS room for you to submit to God's leading and His way. Even among ourselves, we cannot compare.

Making comparisons with our kiddos is also terrible. It's so tempting to compare our kiddos' progress with other kiddos; PLEASE don't, it's counterproductive. Divorce is a very complicated and complex ordeal. It affects parents and children alike. Focus on helping your kiddos to process their feelings and to heal. They will change as thy cope with divorce and it's aftermath. Welcome the change! Change can be good!

Be mindful that coping it required from now until forever. Every time that your child has visitation with your ex, they are exposed to a situation that will require coping. Painful reminders of divorce will sometimes surface when you least expect. Patience is necessary to walk the road to healing and restoration.

Do not worry or doubt that your kiddos will persevere because they will. Everyday, you can help them become more and more resilient. But, be patient. Do not expect them to think, behave, and act like other kids because they are NOT other kids. Your babies are your babies. And, God has blessed you with special skills and tools to help your babies grow and thrive. Remember, your kids are NEVER behind. They are always right where they should be.

Children do not all develop at the same rate emotionally, mentally, or even physically so it's problematic to expect them to heal at the same rate. Our kiddos are as different as the colors in a box of crayons yet they all are wonderful. Let's embrace our kiddos' beauty. Let's fiercely cling to our God given freedom to patiently and supportively allow our children to develop and progress at their own speed.

We can empower our kiddos by teaching them early on that their most important competition comes from within and not without. It's important that their goals for healing and coping are set to improve themselves. Their resilience is based upon surpassing their own previous milestones and not others. As long as they 'bounce back' and move forward, your kiddos are okay.

Ladies, we must be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. Our resolve is strengthened when we keep our focus on God and not ourselves, our situations, and others. Let's refrain from making comparisons. God is working ALL THINGS together for our good. Good may look different from person to person but, good is simply that: GOOD!!! God has promised us all good and He is faithful to deliver it. Relax and trust God!

Love and blessings

Hugs

AMAZING GRACE

1. Amazing grace! How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found;

Was blind, but now I see.

2. ’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

3. Through many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come;

’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

4. The Lord has promised good to me,

His Word my hope secures;

He will my Shield and Portion be,

As long as life endures.

5. Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease,

I shall possess, within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.

6. The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,

The sun forbear to shine;

But God, who called me here below,

Will be forever mine.

7. When we’ve been there ten thousand years,

Bright shining as the sun,

We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise

Than when we’d first begun.

Dearest Ladies,

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!!!!

We are halfway into the week! So, that means we are halfway to the end of the week! Friday is just days away! Yay! Hooray! Congrats on your progress and productivity!!!

My sweetest sisters, you all are every shade of wonderful. You're brilliant blue, you're priceless purple, you're outstanding orange, you're radiant red, you're young-at-heart yellow, you're gracious green, and you're incredible indigo! Thanks for coloring my life with your wonder!

If you're feeling disgusted today, engage in something that you enjoy. By all means, hold on. If you're feeling irritated, slow down and relax. If you feel like giving up, take a break but don't quit. If you feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath and PRAY!!!! We are emotional beings. Sometimes our emotions stay in check and sometimes a barrage of emotions seek to flood our senses and shipwreck our hope, determination, and iron will. When frustration and emotional responses roll in like a flood, run to higher ground. Run to our Rock. Fall on Him. The Lord is a solid rock; all other ground is sinking sand. Hold firmly to our Rock til the storm passes. Hope BIG! Desperate times call for desperate measures....

......I went to charge my cell phone. I connected the phone to the charger and took off to complete my chores. A couple hours later, I returned to retrieve my phone and make a call. I soon discovered that my phone was still dead. I felt slightly irritated. A quick troubleshoot revealed that my phone was indeed connected to the charger but the charger was not connected to the wall electrical socket. Ugh!!!!! Geez!!! Oh my!!!! *  *  *Ladies, I venture to believe that several of us are plugged into activities, groups, and people that we believe are charging us but they are NOT. Sometime we can be plugged in for so long that it looks like we are charging but yet we feel lifeless, drained, and uncharged.

 Sometimes we change: our needs change, our interests changes or perhaps our availability changes. And, other times groups and people change. I encourage you to take inventory of your 'connections.' Please make sure that you are NOT connected just to be connected and uncharged. Please make sure that your connections are REALLY charging you and helping change you for the better. Simplistically speaking, EVERY relationship that we share and EVERY person in our inner circle meets a need for us. Make sure your needs are getting met. Your needs are just as important as the next person's. We MUST regularly care for ourselves in this regard.

Up above, I posted the lyrics to Amazing Grace! I hope you took a second to read them. If not, please read over the lyrics to this timeless, classic hymn. I will give you a moment......

Sisters, I want to hone in on some very, very important truths that are nestled in the first, third, and fourth stanzas of Amazing Grace. The first truth is simply this: we are saved right now ONLY because of God's grace! And secondly, ALL that we are and ALL that we have at this moment is ONLY because of God's grace. Sisters, I submit to you that our entire existence is predicated on God's grace. We are alive because of God's grace. We are saved by God's grace. We are redeemed and restored by God's grace. We are survivors of divorce by God's grace. We are awesome single parents because of God's grace. We are well because of God's grace. Our kiddos are well because of God's grace. ALL that we are is because of God's grace. And, ALL that we possess is because of God's amazing grace.

The lyricist asserts that it is by grace that we were saved. It is by grace ALONE that we were transformed from being bearers of spiritual darkness to bearers of God's holy light. It is because of grace that we were once lost and are now found. It is because of grace that we were once blind but now see.

Does not stanza three cause your throat to tighten and your eyes to water? I can barely read it let alone hear it sung without the waterworks beginning. This particular stanza allows the realization of the impact of God's grace to hit us right between the eyes. There is an absolute, very strong correlation between the Believer's triumphs and victories AND God's grace!!!!

Sisters, there is NO earthly way that we could have endured countless dangers, toils, and snares without God. There is NO earthly way that we could have survived marital decay, separation, divorce, and the painful aftermath without God. We are survivors and thrivers because of God's grace. There have been many, many times that we thought we had surely come to the end of road, that we couldn't go on another step. BUT, we have walked further and we will walk farther still. Because of grace, we have safely and soundly ventured into 2017. By grace, we can continue to live until God calls us home.

There is no shortage of encouragement in stanza four. Ladies, we are reminded that God has promised GOOD to us! Whoaaaaa! Wow! How awesome! God is great! So many others promise us difficulty and disgust BUT, the Lord promises us GOOD! What a blessing! Thank you JESUS for your good promises!!!!!!

Sisters, we must keep our hope secured in God. The Lord is our shield and portion FOREVER. We can always count on God to provide for us. In fact, it much easier to live when we REALLY understand that God is the reason that we are who we are and that we have what we have. When we rely on our efforts and abilities instead of God's then we have to struggle to figure things out. Self-reliance makes us struggle even harder to make everything work! Relax and TRUST GOD!

YOU cannot give yourself life.
YOU cannot wake yourself up in the morning.
YOU cannot make your heart beat.
YOU cannot make your lungs breathe.
YOU cannot make your ears hear.
YOU cannot make your eyes see.
YOU cannot make your muscles work.
YOU cannot make your stomach digest food.
YOU cannot make yourself exist and function properly.

Sooooooo, quit stressing and worrying about your existence and provision. God will provide for you and yours. We all are living, surviving, and thriving BY HIS GRACE.

We were not smart enough, clever enough, cute enough, sexy enough, rich enough, wise enough, nor witty enough to survive all of life's dangers, toils, and snare on our own. We survived because of God. We keep surviving because of God. We are still going because God wants us here AND He wants us to keep going. Live well today!! Ladies, God's grace is better than a blank check. He has paved and paid your way. Embrace the journey!

Love and blessings

Hugs

TRAUMA IS THE DEVIL'S WEAPON: DO NOT TAKE THE BAIT

Job 13:15 KJV
Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

Dearest Sisters,
Spiritual warfare is essentially a war between God and Satan. God has already won. God won waaaaaay back when He cast out from Heaven Lucifer and a rebellious third of the Heavenly host. God won when he declared in the Book of Revelation that Satan and his legion of demons would burn in hell for eternity. Satan is existing on borrowed time. He is like a booked criminal that is released on bail until the sentencing trial. Satan has full reign on earth, as prince of the air, until he is finally sentenced and punished on Judgement Day.

In the meantime, Satan and his demons are angrily warring against God. But, they are no match for God. They cannot harm God so they craftily try to hurt God's precious, treasured creation.

Satan used to be a prized angel of the Lord but, he is no more. Thus, he is very, very jealous and envious of the apple of God's eye--humanity....His children.....us. Satan can never, ever be redeemed nor restored to his former glory as an archangel so he angrily wages war on us. He does not want us in relationship with God. He does not want us to follow nor obey God. He doesn't want us to receive God's unfailing love, grace, mercy, and comfort; in fact, he wants to intercept our blessings. He doesn't want us to receive anything from God that he isn't receiving. Moreover, he wants us to receive from God that which he will receive- God's holy wrath. Ultimately, satan does not want us to do what we were created to do- worship God.

Satan stopped worshipping God because he wanted to be like God. And then, he wanted to be God. He coveted the praise and adoration that God received from the Heavenly host. Satan stopped worshipping God and he wants us to stop worshipping God too. Satan is hell bent on getting us to worship him. Satan is after our souls. Sadly, selling one's soul to the devil is a very real ordeal.

Dearest Sisters, it's so true that misery likes company. Satan is not happy that he and his demons will be sentenced to hell, especially not alone. He would like as many other souls as possible to join him in the lake of fire. So, the Bible says that Satan goes about like a roaring lion seeking to steal, kill, and destroy. Satan is angry. He hates mankind because we are made in the image and likeness of God. Satan hates Jesus because he is the propitiation for our sins and now those that live godly in Christ Jesus are reconciled to God for eternity. Satan hates Christians because we are heirs to the throne of Christ.

Satan tried to doom mankind forever when he tricked Adam and Eve into disobeying God. But, God intended for Jesus to live and die in order for Satan's head to be bruised. When Jesus asserted from the cross, "It is finished," Satan took another blow. Satan is powerless to the Believer. He is crushed. But, yet in still, he continues to wrestle with us. He wants our souls. He wants our worship.

The devil uses trauma, hardships, and suffering to gain access to our lives, to our minds, and ultimately, to our hearts. The enemy uses many types of trauma as a vehicle or conduit in which to break our defense, infiltrate our hearts, and stop our affections for God. The devil exploits our pain in an attempt to ensnare us. The devil will use the pain caused by many evils and situations: incest, molestation, rape, abuse, domestic violence, a violent crime, the death of a loved one, personal sickness, the sickness of a loved one, the special needs/ different ability of a loved one, a still birth, a miscarriage, the death of one's young child, company lay offs, job termination, cashlessness, home foreclosure, homelessness, abandonment, loneliness, betrayal, and even divorce to ensnare us. DID YOU CATCH THAT SISTERS?????!!!!! DIVORCE IS A SNARE!!!! If you were sued, divorce is NOT your fault. If you prayed and fasted AND prayed and fasted some more, AND your ex STILL left, quit faulting yourself dearest Sister! You are NOT to blame. It's healthy and helpful to mourn your losses; it's also healthy and helpful to know your enemy, Satan, and give him credit when it's due. Satan is at fault for authoring your divorce. Your ex-husband is at fault for obliging the devil.

Ladies, divorce is a snare; it is a trap. Divorce can claim two victims from one marriage: the first is the hard-hearted spouse that leaves. He is first deceived into believing that divorce is a good decision and then he executes the decision although it has drastic consequences for all parties involved. The other potential victim is the abandoned spouse; for our purposes, the wife. Post-divorce Satan can deceive the wife into believing lies about herself, her divorce, and ultimately, God. The wife can then downspiral into an abyss of depression, despair, and detestable self-hate. Both victims can take two baits that are greatly different in nature but the same in outcome. Satan uses deception to cause folks to stop walking with God.

Divorcement is largely out of our hands!!! It's out of our control!!! We are NOT to blame. Satan instigated divorce in order to ensnare us. Satan wanted to take us out of the game by detonating a bomb in our marriages. Understanding the nature of Satan and the nature of his attacks is important so that you can know how to respond to spiritual warfare.

You would think the devil wants our marriages, our husbands, our homes, our sanity, our peace of mind, our families, our bodies, our self-esteem, and our children BUT no. Well, he definitely wants more souls but not the relationships per se. The devil doesn't care about destroyed people, families, or marriages. The devil doesn't care about destroyed jobs, careers, or homes. He is a spiritual being; he can't use any of our stuff. The devil only hopes to gain a soul in the aftermath of his destruction. He wants to know if you will curse God and swear your allegiance to him when persecution and pain enters your life. Remember Job's wife? Need I say more. "Bless her heart," as Southerners would say. "She told her husband to curse God and die. Shame on her."

Dearest Sisters, stand strong in the Lord. STAND STRONG!!! Praise and worship God through the storms and stress. Jesus is interceding for us DAILY. God and His heavenly army is fighting for us DAILY. DO NOT GIVE UP THE FIGHT! Keep fighting the good fight of faith. You are only fighting now because God choose you, BEFORE you were born, to be His child and to fight with Him. God has won; keep fighting.
As Jesus hung on the cross, he looked defeated. Surely, he was bruised, mutilated, and scorned BUT, he was NOT defeated. As you look at yourself and your surroundings, you may see an appearance or look of defeat. BUT, YOU are NOT defeated. Looks can be deceiving. That's why we are told to walk by faith, NOT sight. No matter what you are fighting or facing, God's Holy Spirit is living in you and battling for you. The Lord's winning spirit is in you. You will win because God wins! Remember, the fight is for your soul, NOT your stuff and NOT your relationships. Protect your soul by DAILY entrusting it to God.

Love and blessings

Hugs